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  • It is currently Thu May 23, 2013 11:20 am

About communicating with my surgeon.

This section of the forum is dedicated to discussions on rhinoplasty (cosmetic, reconstructive, and functional) nose surgery, also known as a “nose job”. Ethnic rhinoplasty topics can be addressed either here or in the Ethnic Cosmetic Surgery Forum.
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About communicating with my surgeon.

Postby koshka1212 » Thu Jul 12, 2012 4:56 pm

Hello, I wanted to ask, how can approach my surgeon about details of my upcoming surgery?

This may sound little strange, but let me explain.

3 years ago, I had Rhinoplasty by a same surgeon who is going to perform a revision surgery for me very soon.

My nose were overall very bulbous and not blending with rest of my face.
I had a bump on my nose, the tip was very big, and nostril was rather wide too.
So I consulted him and made an appointment for nasal bone reduction, tip refinement, and nostril reduction.
Thing about this doctor is, he has MD and been in business for long time, seems to be pretty famous for what he does.
I don't know if that's the reason why, but he tends to act like he knows what I exactly want and shut me off when I try to talk to him in details about my surgery.
His answers to everything I say is very quick and short.
It's like "Ok,ok, yeah, uh-huh, we can do it, ok".
All I know is a vague info, that my nose is going to be "slimmer".
He didn't talk about what he is exactly going to do with my nose, or how much he is going to reduce. No details about shape or angle.
Since he talks in such a rush, I didn't have a courage to tell him "No, I want to know more details!"
I just trusted him and had to hope for the best.

The results weren't bad, but it wasn't what I wanted.
It was lot slimmer and improved, yes, but not as slim as I expected. There were still a slight bump on my nasal bone, and the tip was still big. On top of that, now my nose is slightly tilted to the left, although it's not very visible unless I take close-up picture.
I mentioned this to him when I saw him for follow-up, he told me he went for the "natural result" that's enough to improve my nose but people who know me will not notice I had a surgery done.
This made me little angry, although I didn't show him that I was mad. If I wanted a subtle change, I would have told him. I payed $6k so I can feel better about my nose blending in to rest of my face.

I visited couple more times for follow-up, and he agreed to do revision surgery for another nasal bone reduction and tip refinement (I was ok with my nostril at this point) for $1500. 3 years passed since I couldn't take any time off for recovery time, but today I finally visited him again and he said he can still do it for the same price. I just scheduled a surgery appointment for next Tuesday.

But the same problem still remains. When I saw him today and reminded him about what I wanted, he just looks at my nose and pinch the tip of my nose for about 1-2 min, and again, goes "uh-huh, yes, mmhmm, ok, yes, we can do it, just go book the appointment" and leaves the room.
Just as last time, I don't know how much he is going to do. If he is going to make the change too subtle, or too dramatic, what is the shape going to be like, I have no idea.

I really want to talk to him more, but I don't want to upset the doctor who is going to perform a surgery on me, as if I don't trust his skills. I don't want to come across insulting, but this time I really just want to make sure I'm getting the result I want.
Is there anyway I can approach to him before the surgery is done?
I'm nervous and I really need help.
Thank you for you time.
koshka1212
 
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Joined: Thu Jul 12, 2012 4:49 pm
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Re: About communicating with my surgeon.

Postby dr. lam » Sat Jul 14, 2012 11:56 am

i don't have perfect tips but you can butter him up a bit to take off his defenses by saying something like, "I am really happy with my previous rhinoplasty, and I am glad you can help me with some refinement on the nose. Would you mind spending a few minutes with me to make me feel more comfortable that our objectives are mutually the same?" I would also tell the staff the same thing first so that they can prepare him that you are overall happy but really need to spend more time with your physician so that they can warn him not to rush out of the room. those are my thoughts. hope that helps.
Samuel M. Lam, M.D., F.A.C.S.
Diplomate, American Board of Facial Plastic & Reconstructive Surgery
Diplomate, American Board of Otolaryngology Head & Neck Surgery
Diplomate, American Board of Hair Restoration Surgery
dr. lam
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Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2007 10:51 am
Location: Dallas Texas
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