LAM FACIAL PLASTICS

I was so happy to read a comment in yesterday's entry... the one mentioning how we judge others by actions while we judge ourselves by our intentions.

So simple, yet so NOT obvious in our everyday's lives!

Come to think of it, I'd say 90% of our problems in any sort of relationship (from marriage problems to misunderstandings with coworkers) come from the fact that we pretend, expect others to judge us, forgive us, understand us for/because of our INTENTIONS while doing something good AND bad. If the intention was good, we find unfair to be juged badly and we resent that person. But while we do that, we, ourselves, have the natural tendency to judge others by their actions... which in a way is the logical thing, since how can we read minds? We can't! so why would we expect others to read ours? why would our intentions justify our actions if others can not know them and will suffer from the consequences of our actions, NOT of our intentions? and if we are going to care for intentions, it must go both ways.

It is unbelievable how something so obvious is something we fail at continously: at remember that our good will is not enough for the world to love us... nor that other people's bad actions mean or reflect that they necessarily were mean or had bad intentions, were mediocre, etc.... just because our mistakes might not be based on being mediocre or wrong on purpose!

Thanks for bringing up that simple reality we so often forget about!

And also for reminding us that leadership is not just about business and jobs. It is also about how we inspire and lead the people in our lives, in our environment. AND OURSELVES. That's another thing so easy to forget.

Not to mention that bringing up the issue of accountability is key. It's easy to mistake feeling and being responsible of something with feeling guilty and with accountability... where all those concepts are somewhat linked or can be linked or go together... but also not. There are nuances and they are important. We are not guilty for what we do wrong out of ignorance, while we just did what we really thought was best with what we knew. We were responsible of those mistakes. Not guilty. Guilty it's when we do something knowing it is wrong and still do it. Accountability is about realizing how and why we are responsible (or guilty) for the things we do or not.

SO much to ponder.
Thanks!!!!!!!!!!

perfect comments! thanks for the kind observations!

I think we give ourselves a lot of margin but we are not ready to give it to others. Simply we want to save ourselves from guilt and accountability.

thanks again for the comment.