LAM FACIAL PLASTICS

Wow, so interesting of an entry! (as if I should be surprised).

What is said there makes me understand a bit better some things I have experienced.

I am no great beauty. I am a normal woman. Not particularly striking, really "normal" (the type that some consider ugly, others pretty, others anything in between) and not one to stand out in any way in a crowd because I don't like to drive attention to my persona (funny how it might not seem like that from my posting so much, but in real life, I normally talk little and listen more... and go under the radar rather than above the radar)...

Yet... the oddest things have happened to me and this I just read might explain it, at least partially.

I have the habit of smiling. No big merit on my part. One day, eons ago, I was walking down the street and could not help but get astounded at how 90% of the people were walking by -maybe without realizing it, it seemed like an habit!- with a frowning expression. It was more or less marked, but most had a "worry" face. Unless for those speaking to someone else and having a good time, nobody smiled. I thought it was so sad and counterproductive to ourselves that we go through life with frowned faces. How to feel better or not worry MORE if our body muscles are into "frown" position?

I was so depressed to see people so depressed and hated so much the idea of going through life just like them (I wondered if I was frowning myself all the time), that I made the decision of smiling on purpose. Well, not an open wide smile while walking, I would have seem looney. But to not frown and try to smile or half-smile most of the time. Even if I was worried. I do not always get to go with a half-smile when I am worried, but I try to, and when things are ok, yes, I smile. No big merit. It can become an habit, just like frowning or doing so many other things.

Well, you would not believe how many people have recognized me over the years in the oddest situations, some after years of having seen me, some after 3 minutes of seeing me, some from sitting in a conference room all across from where I was and in another country, etc., some have recognized my voice on the phone immediately the first time I called (and that they did not know I would), some recognized hubby and I as people who had been in a crowded disco in a city in Brazil, and from their details, they were not lying.

Did I have a relationship with these people? No. Did I flirt with them? No. Did I strike them with my wits or beauty? (I wish!) No.
I guess I was friendly around them simply because I try to not be unfriendly unless necessary. But was I particularly friendly? Maybe in a few cases, not in the most. Not particularly friendly, I mean.
Was I trying to impress them or something? No.
The one only thing I can think of was/is that I must have been smiling. When your facial expression is one that "tends" to a smile (say, upper corners of the lips slightly "up" as if you were about to smile) it becomes way easier and more natural to smile at the first, simplest positive thing you see. Without even realizing it. Maybe they did something nice for me or were pleasant in some way and because I had the half-smile "on" habit, smiling a bit more resulted on a big smile...?

Maybe, then, they picked on the smiling and that it made them remember me?
By the way, I don't have a megawatt smile or perfect teeth or anything, I suspect the contrast between someone smiling while most people unconsciously look "worried" and distant made them somehow remember me? Even without any sort of attraction, special interest in me or whatever?

So I guess this phenomenon does not apply only to remembering names, but remembering faces, even if those faces are not extraordinary nor were seen in extraordinary situations.

I guess I won't give up the "habit" of smiling. It does not hurt and sometimes, it helps! Apparently, purposely trying to make of smiling an habit does not only help at "fooling ourselves" that we are doing great when maybe not so much (the famous "act like it and you'll believe it") but also can lead to a positive "twist" in how some others, strangers, perceive us, even if and when we are not "extraordinary" in any way.

M/A....but [i]you ARE extraordinary[/i]!! That is beyond argument. If it ever feels unappreciated (all the smiling, all the good will), know that it IS appreciated. People are so craving this, this gift you share. Is there a new way to say I love what you wrote? Thanks M/A!

Question for Dr. L-Is this the type of material you wish us to take over to the new area? Thanks.

First I have seen M/A's photo (in a PM) and SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL LADY. obviously, quite intelligent too. thanks M/M regarding which category to put this in. i was thinking the same thing. however, if you look at my new categories, there is a big mix up. i have been begging my webmaster to fix. half of the updates/events went into the message board, and vice versa. i think i will most likely just delete and move those posts. that drives me crazy right now. you can put your posts here or there. since we are talking about what you are passionate about you could leave it here. perhaps it would be better to start filling up the new "message board" about thoughts. whatever you guys like! i'm just glad you guys write so much on here. i love reading it. your thoughts are as long and as thoughtful as my blogs.
best,
sml

okay, M/M and M/A, i have moved around all those entries because i couldn't stand it anymore. now the entries in each category (message board and updates/events) are clean. could you guys publish your blog responses in the "message board" section? i know in fact there is a gray line between passions and life thoughts but the ideas you are presenting seem to be more life thoughts than passions. let's start putting blog thoughts there. also, i just want some more activity there. HELP!

seeing people smiling makes me feel good and "safe"
it's like they r telling me "everything will be fine "
i used to smile alot now i avoid looking at people thinking that if i did this they won't look at me as well
keep on smiling .. u r doing a great thing for sad people