And I wanted to share something; it is the Gestalt approach you often use in the forums, here, even if your main role here is the one of giving advice (and you do, and wonderfully so), what I think has consciously or unconsciously lead us to like you so much.
What I mean is that one of the things that kept me coming back here and not seeking or asking for info to other docs or specialist on the net or in real life was precisely that it pleased me enourmously to see that when you gave advice, you would often speak of things you learned or even said you could not give advice on one specific topic, based on previous "mistakes" or steps you made in a direction no longer followed (maybe not mistakes, sometimes just methods or procedures you stopped using).
I always found refreshing that you would show your "human" side in your career too, bringing up, with some good purpose, why and how you had once thought something, done something or approached something in a way you later found was no longer good or useful. And in almost 100% of the posts about our passions, and various topics other than the plastic surgery ones, you brought up something about you, your experiences, what you learned. Showing how you came to some conclusion -sometimes after mistakes, made your words more valid to me than if you had not said a thing and basically given advice without sharing what your "wrong patterns of thinking" or mistakes had once been. It made you appear as human, knowledgeable but human, humble. And true wise people are humble. Those who act like they were born knowing it all might impress some people for a short while... they rarely earn their trust long term.
We all need and respect, even if only intuitively, those we can relate to. And by that I mean people who live and learn, and make mistakes sometimes in the process. Those who, over time, still talk as if they have always done it "all" just great "from the go" (or pretend to show that side of their lives) eventually stirr up questions and doubts.
When I see a doc (or any other specialist, for that matter) who speaks of how great this or that method is and never speaks of one he/she (HE OR SHE, not others) have used and failed, or who never mentions have considered something and then discarded it (a premise, a method, an idea) make ME, at least, at some point, wonder: "is this doctor as good as he claims to be? How can he/she is so certain of following the right path and approach? what if he/she did not try anything else and so is convinced has "the" answer to things, but without first hand experience on other ways to do things? How can this person know for sure that something does not work or does work, or can work, or won't, *each single time*, without making a mistake? That's too good to be true".
Well, with you, that didn't happen. It became obvious how each matter's approach came from a background, from a process of learning, where sometimes you "hit it just right" from the first attempt, sometimes not, sometimes you said yourself you got better results only as time went by and you learned more through experience. You never pretended to have not had to make adjustements or notice that you still had to learn, or that you had evolved from when you first started your practice and that each day/year you know more, which implies that not even today you think you know it all. That gives away the authenticy of who you are and in what you say, and only gives you MORE credibility than if you had only spoke of your successes, or never shared that you had to learn or change something along the way.
So kudos to you. Kudos for mixing in a balanced way, in this forum, the advice of someone knowledgeable that does not show a false modesty, with the humility to present himself as someone who get to where he is through a process of learning that implied mistakes and "turns", changes of paths, adjustments.
It is then, a proof that you use Gestalt in the right mesure, even in the areas where you should not have to (you could give advice on plastic surgery stuff and suggest you know for sure, and that's it) and, in turn, by my reaction to that openess of yours (sharing things about your life, and not just the rosey parts of it), which I bet is the reaction many others have, we all have the proof of how a Gestalt-like approach to sharing experiences tends to make people listen more than "lectures" or long, impeccable dissertations on matters.
We always get more in terms of personal interactions by being as simple as possible, which includes saying what made us think the way we think, versus saying just what we think as a truth that was revealed to us (apparently) "just because". It's empathy... it's finding the common ground we share with someone what makes us trust MORE the person when he/shows to know more or better about a given subject. I also say that is the simplest way, because that is the way we think! When we give advice, we usually skip (sometimes for practical reasons, of course) how we ever got to have that advice to give, when in reality is always through our experience, what we did or saw ourselves and not just abstract theories, what made us accept or not certain ideas and then turn some of our thoughts and conclusions into advice.
Hugs!
I am always learning or remembering something I learned and forgot, or should keep more in mind, each time I read your blog.
Way to go, Dr. Lam!!!
