LAM FACIAL PLASTICS

As I had imagined, part II of the subject Dr Lam is approaching now in his blog was as good as part 1.
It is inspiring and uplifting to hear about people like his family.

Aside to thank him for sharing about the true life role models he spoke of, I would like to comment on some of what he said:

"The people that I associate with are those who are dedicated to treat all humanity with love and respect".

I think we often forget importance of being aware of (and choosing if possible) the type of people we surround ourselves by - since most of us can't surround ourselves only with good people, at least be fully aware of how the people who are around us are like and what is toxic about those.

It's easy to forget how important is to leave negative, angry, petty people as distant as possible from us... It's easy to forget how vulnerable we can be to the negative influence of these people in us.
We are not as immune as we like to think- it does not mean that because we are around negative people who treat others in discriminatory or bad ways we will be the same way! but just that we are all sensitive, more or less, to the general environment and energy they create around them. Their company can affect us and maybe not change our beliefs, but rub on us a negativity and then make us have a harder time when it comes to to keeping "up" a good, positive outlook on the world, and the strenght to live accordingly to our beliefs.

By keeping them distant, I don't mean to keep them physically or geographically away, since there are people we can't avoid, must interact with whether we like it or not... I don't think, neither, that avoiding them alltogether is possible, anyway, nor useful, for hopefully if we do not follow their mindframe, we might have in turn a positive or "neutralizing" impact over their negativity and influence THEM positively with attitudes opposite to theirs. I mean, instead, that we must at least, IMHO, try to have more and more often the company of possitive people than of negative, mediocre people, and by a great difference in number.

It is key to remain alert and aware of some people's "destructive vibes",the toxic attitudes toward others and themselves; to remind ourselves that x or y behavior they have is pathetic, useless, not constructive, and has no room in our lives, etc.
I do not mean to focus on thinking or speaking badly of them nor feel superior to them (or else we would fall into the same pattern we are criticizing about them!) but about keeping our walls up and "alert" as to prevent ourselves from letting them "in", into our world, with their negativity. Negativity can be contagious!

I think a big problem about meeting and being surrounded by people who are not positive or constructive in any way is that their "bad vibes" pollute the environment.. and if we are not aware of how they can have and create a negative energy around them, we might fall into that negative mood or ambiance they create.

I believe we all like to think that we are strong, and yes indeed we might be so... but when being exposed to negativity, if our "walls are down", our mood is not the best for whatever reason or that our spiritual/emotional "immune system" is working poorly, we can get easily contaminated by that negativity. There are people who bombard us with negative attitudes and messages and while we might know they are wrong, if we spend too much time around them, at least sometimes we risk to succomb to that negativity or feel affected by it.

I personally have become very picky as years go by and maybe I have fewer "friends", but the Friends I have (capital F) or people I seek and try to be surrounded with are people who inspire me to be the best I can be and help them be the best they can be. Life is too short to spend it fighting or counteracting the action of negative, destructive people.
Maybe I am too drastic, but I notice I gain nothing (and indirectly, those around me and influenced by me) if I spend energy and time in people who have the type of negative traits Dr Lam spoke of. So I try to be in situations where the people or circumstances (including TV shows and what I am exposed to from the media!) show me, teach me positive outlooks, constructive ideas, and, bascially, leave me "recharged" with "good" batteries.

Dr Lam said:
"I simply cannot tolerate individuals who hold themselves above others around them. We are all part of a common race and we are all flawed creatures. Next time you have an individual that you treat with disrespect, think for a moment of why you should consider yourself better than that individual. In my opinion that behavior makes you lower than the person that you are treating badly".

I love what you just said. Especially as I am convinced that for each time we point at someone else's flaws while claiming to be better than them, we are, if not always, often, forgetting that we tend to remark, despise and judge others for the very same traits and "flaws" we hate because we have ourselves, or know we could or might have/do ourselves.
Not always, but I think we tend to react negatively in a strong way to the very same things that upset us about ourselves, the same flaws deep inside we fear we might have ourselves or have the tendency to have ourselves.

On a sidenote, I read on a magazine not long ago, that a study from an USA University (sorry I can not recall the exact source) had studied the effect of the words of people who had criticized others in how the people hearing them (the ones criticizing) judged, in turn, those who spoke badly of others. Oh surprise... studies shown that the vast majority of people had soon forgotten what was criticized in others and, ironically, basically remembered that x or y person had been critical and petty (not what the person said) OR, worse (or better, depending on how you see it), had ended up attributing the flaws pointed in "others" to the one who had spoken! Go figure! For each time we point fingers, people remember more clearly that we were petty or critical than what we criticized in others, and, better, people tend to associate the flaws with the person who spoke of the flaws of others! LOL

Thanks again Doctor for a wonderful entry!

Thanks so much again for spending so much of your time to write a wonderful response. I read all the responses in full. I wish the politicians would understand your remarks!
best,
sml

Mysteryagain, I loved your thoughts about surrounding ourselves with positive people and influences. I agree with you 100%! Your post was very thoughtful and quite refreshing. Thank you for sharing.

a mentor/friend of mine said that you become the top 5 people you surround yourself with. it led me to change my entire social circle, create a mastermind, and my life has changed so drastically over the last year, and continues to every single day. It's really hard to get rid of negative influences in your life, especially when you bonded and create some level of co-dependency. So I absolutely agree with thoughts in this post!

thanks dr. vince!

Has anyone else noticed that Dr. L is turning emoticons into art? Look above to see what I mean.

Dr. Vince-I am enjoying what/how you write.

In my opinion if you totally keep the negative people away then how they will become positive. Isn't it possible that we impart our positive energy into them so they can also improve.

yes, that is a fine line. if you can help someone change then by all means do so. however, if someone is just radiating off negative energy to you all the time and you are suffering because of this without that person getting better, then you need to get out of that relationship.

it was quiet a though provoking and nice post by dr.lam. thank you so much for this wonderful piece of content u delivered. i hope all of us live by this message.

sorry, rosaclinic, i blocked you on here because it looked like one of your messages was spam-like. i apologize.
s.