LAM FACIAL PLASTICS

I enjoyed very much reading this entry and can't wait for the two entries to come!

Just wanted to comment on something that actually reinforces what the doc shared with us.
As you might remember or not, I work in the medical field. I am a medical librarian, so I am not a doctor but certainly spend my time interacting with them.

The institution I work specifically for works in turn for the national health system, but is privately owned. So those of "us" (administrative staff, secretaries, me as a librarian, etc.) who work in the institution actually have the four main associates that founded this institution as our "bosses". Of them, only one is a leader. The rest give commands and "are in charge" but none plays a leader role nor has any true impact in the staff (or in the positive evolution of the institution in other ways, neither!).

One of them (two, actually, but it is more evident in one) is irate all the time. He walks in, walks out irate and stays here acting irate. There always seems to be a reason (or not at all, but to him obviously there are reasons, always, no matter what) for him to be irate and to go around talking in a rude manner, losing control easily in what he says, etc.

While he holds the power to fire anyone among us and the power to make all sort of big decisions, he inspires anything and everything other than respect. The main reason for the lack of respect for him and for our not seeing him, ever, as a leader, is clearly, above all, his temper. He is never in control of himself, as the doctor Lam would say, and he certainly can not control neither the people nor what goes on around him.

He is one to have too the "God mentality" and arrogance Dr. Lam mentioned he saw so often among colleagues but he is a God that nobody respects or takes seriously, and those who take him seriously do so only by fear of his actual power to fire them, not for any other reason-- and despise him.

As far as "being the boss" and leadership not being linked to an actual specific position as a "leader" or boss in the hierarchy of the organization, I think it is interesting to remark how this same doctor who is in theory "in charge" and the leader is not the real boss when confronted with and by some people of the staff.

I have had very few confrontations with this boss (he knows his ways do not work with me, so leaves me alone 99% of the time), and interestingly enough, each time he tried to use his rude manners and institutional position to make me feel threatened in my own position (threatened to be fired) so I would do things his way (understood I thought he was doing something really wrong or asking me to do something I was not ok with), it never worked... He was each time the one to end up "giving up" or taking his words/actions back.
This does not mean I was particularly brilliant or anything while confronting him, it only proves that someone who has no control over himself and his temper hardly inspires enough respect as for anyone to feel either inspired nor threatened! by his words, not even fear! Instead, with a person like that, you feel like you are talking to a child with a tantrum, and then things evolve as if indeed the boss was the kid who has to be reprimanded... and ends up apologizing!

I think this that happened with me and a few other people of the staff reinforces the concept that it is our attitude, our "presence", our self-assurance and our way to react and to manage our emotions and thoughts when around people what actually ends up really counting, not our academical merits, degrees nor our formal position in a working staff.

wow, thanks for spending the time to write that. loved it, of course. really appreciate the time you spend on this forum for my benefit but also for the greater good, so to speak.
sml

Thank you! but... it is sort of funny... it is up to us to thank YOU for the inspiring things you write in your blog.
It is nice to have each day something to think of and ponder... even share and discuss with friends (I forward the link or the message -always saying who is the author!) the entries.
It is YOU who are enriching my life and the ones of many around me.

Hi MysteryAgain,

Glad you're back online and everything's working. I always like your writing, the way you express yourself.
What you wrote made me think of the shelter dogs I see on Tuesdays. (Dr. L may be thinking oh no--here we go, lol.)

I think dogs are so like people, the way they interact. I'm always fascinated observing a group of dogs at the shelter-we let them out to play/exercise together and there's ALWAYS an 'order', if you will. Ferocious dogs simply fight and rarely have a good time. Strong ,yet amiable dogs lead (or cooperate), don't get picked on, and enjoy themselves. Very fearful dogs seem to fare the worst, sadly.


I agree with you about these blogs. Love 'em and always food for thought or just fun.

thanks memento and mystery. you guys have interesting monikers. maybe i should call myself mamboking? i don't know. just having fun with some m words.
sml

i think it was art williams the billionaire who said to never see yourself as the boss, but as a coach. That's rung true for me. I have been working on building an online team and just as Dr Lam talks about having people align with his vision/philosophy, it's a much more 'democratic' approach, and certainly makes it more fun.

But tough because i'm a control freak at heart

yes, don't be a manager, be a leader.

oh the other obvious thing is ... to hire the right people! easier said that done. super hard. a friend of a friend is internet marketer eben pagan, who created a $100 million online business from scratch, said you have to hire drivers and 'stars'. i've found that to be hard- you will always have 'more' vision than people who work for you to make a living even if they love what they do. but i guess goes back to what you're saying about aligning it as a fun thing and doing the best you can, sounds like you have it all sorted tho

read my tuesday blog for the response.