Dr. Sam Lam Plastic Surgery Forum

Hi dr. Lam,

I kbow you are very serious about it, i am aware of that .
I will read the books, i read already some of it earlier, not all.
But i will start again.
Somebody, an advisor recommended me (when i feel stronger) to put my whole story on hte internet, like youtube, to let other people know what can happen with a bad surgery like that, I already have put partly some facts on a local website and i get emails from time to time from people asking for advice, I recently could hold someone like me 3 years ago, to avoid the surgery and look for fat graft and improving there life stress and habits.
Thanks again,
Martine.

my feeling about that is don't do that. you do not want to constantly relive your past. however, psychologists say that getting it off your shoulders is important to moving forward. for example, spend a day and write in a journal all of your feelings and then STOP. stop reliving the past. the website with these correspondences will continue to dredge up the past. you need to live in the present!
best,
sml

dr. Lam, this will be the last writing about the past, i promise, just one thing.
Do you think it is fair that the surgeon who did this to me just walks away with this ?
Before the facelift she absolutely told me the volume was going to be fixed with her approach, I would not look any different, ONLY BETTER.
Then after the surgery, when the swelling was gone and i showed her the result she NEVER EVER in all those years made an attempt to look for a solution to fix or make it better, she says to other people that i asked for this surgery and the way she did it, while i consulted her for the volume loss and therefore a tiny little bit of sagging.
I consulted het twive before the surgery, she never asked me to show pictures from a few years earlier, sI think she was very unresponsable in what she did, besides her lack of estetic eye.
Sorry, this will be the last time.
Best regards,
Martine

life is unfair. it is not how life is unfair to us that matters. it is how we handle it that counts. a lady whom i am working with who has pancreatic cancer is almost completely healed because she has forgiven all those who have trespassed against her and focused on her healing. do you think it is fair that she has pancreatic cancer? do you think it is fair that there are rich and there are poor? many harbor anger and resentment toward others whether justifiably or not and all they do is kill themselves. once we start to get over that people are not nice to us and that life is unfair and we can actually laugh at it then we can begin the healing process. until you have forgiven and i don't mean a small forgiveness but a deep abiding one, you will be free. your surgeon has not imprisoned you no matter what you think. you have done it to yourself. you have the keys to free yourself. they lie in the three books that i gave you to read. i had a patient today in whom i did a chin implant a year ago and she was sad and miserable about life. she read the 4 Agreements she told me 3 times and she set herself free. she was a different person today. although i am in the business to heal people, i cannot meet with you in belgium until you begin the healing process. to be honest, your negative energy will just drag both of us into a spiral. i already sense that. i am here to help you, but i cannot get even close to helping you until you help yourself. i do not want to sit in front of you and hear about how the doctor wronged you and how your life is miserable and you have lost elasticity. that is not how i am going to spend my time or your time in belgium. when you are free from this entrapment, then i can offer you constructive ideas to improve your face. please free yourself from your own misery. no one has imprisoned you there but yourself. no one can free yourself but yourself. your doctor nor i have the keys to do it. they lie within you.
namaste,
sml

Hello dr Lam,

I reaaly am going to do what you told me, and i will be better by september , please dont cancel the appointment , i need it to look forward to it.
Thanks, Martine.

wonderful. have peace. give forgiveness. live life.
see you september.
namaste,
sml

Hello dr. Lam,
I just wanted to tell you i have been thingking a lot lately (i also read your blogs) and discovered that after the lift i was trying to hide the misery i felt, did everything to look presentable, make up, nice cloths, hair extentions to cover the deformed contour, etc...
Meanwhile i was looking for someone who could restore my face, my identity, so everybody said, its fine, you look ok, nothing to worry about, we can not do anything, like this it was going on for years, i felt more misarable every day, and when there was someone who saw me like that wrekky i mean, they said, go and sit outside in the sun, tan a bit, it will make you look better, of course it wont. So finally i decided to let go of all my efforts so people could see me the way it really is. Now everybody says, its awfull, what have they done to you, yes you are right, your face is misformed, just wanted to tell you that nobody has ever understood me, that this face is not me, that is does not fit with me and the rest of me.
Now i am exhausted of trying to hide it for years, in searching a solution all those years. I know i was not ging to write you anything anymore about the past, just dont know if you understand, hope you do, and you will probably not agree in what i have been done to myself, all in just feelling hopeless. Hope you will still see me in september, i took the risk of writing you this, it is my choice.
Martine.

yes, i understand completely. but you must realize that when you are hopeless that is a very tough time to work on someone. you must work through your issues first. read the books with an open heart. i can promise you one thing: when someone looks sad and is sad it not only ages them remarkably but you look awful because of it. i have seen people who are depressed and i look at them and they look terrible. whatever the facelift did to you, you MUST TAKE OWNERSHIP of your life and not live with blame on someone else. a huge reason you look older is not the procedure but your response to it. when you are sad and angry about something you will age 10 years no matter what procedure you have done or not done. the key to freedom is forgiveness and ownership. read my blog today. rather a propos. i have no keys in my hand nor does your doctor. free yourself.
best,
sml

Hi dr. Lam,

I will be trough it soon, i feel it will be like that, so then it will happen.
Can you post me the link fot this specific blog,
thanks, Martine

http://lfp-blog.com/dr-lams-blog/mindfu ... rgiveness/
best,
sml

Hi dr Lam,
By coicidence i had contact with an anesthesist from a facial plastic surgean, he suggested to have the treads from the lift taken out to get rid of the pulling under the skin.
Just done by a small insicion, two treaths on every side. What dot you think of this, the pulling hurts and limits my facial movement, i wanted to ask you before i do again anything stuped, but it makes sence to me, at leat done a while before fat grating so that the underlying tissues can settle.
If a fat graft would be done with the treaths left inside and they loosen up mor on its own in a few years, maybe the fat would be in a wrong position.
Thanks for advice, Martine.

honestly, i don't know the answer because i don't know who is doing it and what they are doing. if it hurts then maybe yes but i cannot give you that advice. a lot of the healing must happen in the heart and the mind. those can heal the face.
namaste,
sml