Dr. Sam Lam Plastic Surgery Forum

My dad just called me to chat. He must've been feeling nostalgic, as he told me he was holding a book of inspirations I'd given him years ago. He read a few to me and told me one of his favorite lines:


"The test of a gentleman is respect for those who can be of no value to him."


I felt I'd been sent a 'thought for the day'. We may look at that quote (and I'm sorry I don't know its source) as being applicable to a woman, a lady, of course. We may also be tempted to toss the words around, define 'value', but I hope we might consider it in its simplest form.

Wooooooow, Memento, what a wonderful line your father read you!

I concur that the the quote can be read in it simplest form but also be undestood as something applicable to all sorts of people, situations... and even to most "things" in life (not just people).

Just the word gentleman is an interesting one. If we think of a gentleman as in someone with a chivalrous attitude and a behavior that reflects a high standard of propriety or correct conduct, we can think that the word could apply to any of us who aspire to become people whose attitudes and behavior will clearly reflect our values, moral ethics and consideration toward other people/things' traits, behaviors, qualities that make them beautiful or good in at least some way (-> back to today's blog entry about seeing beauty in everything!).

So the "gentleman" could be as well replaced by "an ethical person" or "someone with integrity".

"The test of a gentleman is respect for those who can be of no value to him."

I like to think of this sentence as a reminder that the test of a good person, a happy person, a person with integrity and good values (or at least one that aspires to better him/herself) is/will be one who will *recognize* the intrinsic value of anything and everything that has SOME beauty, material, personal, social or moral value to not just him/herself, but to others.

It eventually makes me think of today's blog entry, where Dr Lam talks of Viktor Frankl and his attitude of seeing beauty in everything!

Because each time we try to see the good, the valuable, the positive in the people and things around us, we will necessarily look at them with new eyes. We might keep on seeing the ugly in them, if there is ugliness in them, yet will less likely show disrespect, intolerance, aggressivity, or some other negative action or feeling toward that "thing", just precisely we will have in mind that even among the "bad" or "not so nice", there still is something beautiful, useful and potentially enriching in our life or in someone else's life.

We often have a hard time or just can not (easily) find a a vertue or good thing about "something". It is good to remind ourselves that the fact that we might not see that "good" thing, that "beauty" does not mean that it is not there, somewhere, in some way.

"A true gentleman is one who shows respects to those who are of no value to him" just because a mature person with high ethical or behavioral standards (should) always base that behavior in the belief that everyone is valuable in some way, beautiful and some way, and so, a good thing to exist in the world. Even if of not direct use to "him". Even if that beauty or value is not evident. Even if, indeed, this person won't be of any "utility" or value to him... but can be to others.

At least in theory, the more educated we become, the more we (should) realize that we must remain humble because there is too much we don't kow and too much we don't have that others know and others have. The more educated and emotionally mature we become, the more understanding, tolerant, empathic, we should become... and the more open to realizing that only because someone or something seems of no value to us or even to others, it does not mean it does not have "something" that makes this person or thing deserve understanding... and respect.

The more we learn to see the everpresent forms of beauty in everything around us, the more we will naturally feel inclined to respect the world and the people around us. And when we don't get to see that beauty or understand the value of that "something" or someone, we should remember that only because we can't see it, it does not mean it is not there.

The more we get to know ourselves, the more we should realize how important it is the way we interact with the people and environment we are in. That showing respect will in turn make possible a positive ambiance where the value and good of people and things will flourish to everyone's benefit.

Back to Dr Lam's entry of today, learning to see the beauty in everything is a great thing, because it won't make us shallow... it will actually train us at seeing how there is something to admire even among imperfections. And only good stuff can come out from it. More love for the world, for ourselves, for others, more respect for God's/Nature's creation, etc.

I loved the quote Memento!!! and will copy it in my own "quotes agenda" (where I try to write down sentences or thoughts that will inspire or re-inspire me when browsing that agenda - my goal is each day to open randomly an agenda and find one rich thought brought back to my mind).

Great thought provoking topic and thanks for sharing your insight, M/M and M/A!

I believe William Lyon Phelps is known for that quote. His words, “The final test of a gentleman is his respect of those who can be of no possible service to him.”

Believe me, it will come around for them in the long run!

Great comments everyone. I am moved by your magnanimous spirit. It is an interesting quote because I have now learned to see "value" in everyone although i understand the spirit of the quote being selfish and utilitarian when we think of value. i truly today value all humanity whether there is a financial gain for me or not.
thanks,
sml

Heather, so right when you say "Believe me, it will come around for them in the long run!".
At least personally, I certainly remember fondly and vividly each person who was kind with me or someone I care "for no reason" (they gained nothing in theory and one knew helping or being kind was actually taking their time or energy when they did not have any "obligation" to fulfill with me or with someone else)... and I certainly feel moved to help these people the best I can in any possible way when it's their turn to need or use some assistance.
There is nothing like witnessing in someone generosity "without strings attached" to move us to in turn be generous or helpful, or just wish the best!, for these people who were generous!